insane.. i'm insane *cries*

I'm teethering on the brink of insanity. save me somebody.

i feel so frustrated.. about NOTHING..maybe it's b'cuz of something. but i just don't know what it is!! i feel so violent.. i'm just holding back.. holding myself back by SO MUCH.. preventing myself from doing/saying something stupid.

i was hoping someone could calm me down. but that someone couldn't. in fact.. it was made worst. not anyone's fault.. i'm just really really frustrated now.. and it mystifies me why..

one reason might be b'cuz i'm losing my independence.. i'm just losing it.. it's really annoying.. i've always been independent.. and i don't like feeling this way! and i mean.. emotional independence.. it's probably freaking me out. so, yes.. i'm freaked out.. freaked out to the max. i'm so not good at this emotional dependence. and honestly.. i don't feel like i want to. but i have this thought inside me which says that one day.. i will have to be emotionally dependent on another. but i'm just too reluctant to let that be now.

aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrghhh.. i just feel like destroying something. mebe it's just cuz i've been really inactive the whole day.. so, i've this built up energy in me that just has to be spent. and the only way my brain can think of using this extra energy is by stressing me out emotionally for all the wrong reasons..

I'M FREAKING MYSELF OUT!! I need to calm down. and i need to find my footing. i need to know.. that i will be fine.. even without certain things. i'm good.. and i'm strong. ergo, i will survive everything that comes my way with or without that particular support.

Help me Lord. amen.