hey ho a daily fuggin ho.
great.
it honestly doesn't help that all this while throughout my childhood and teenage years, my parents never really lectured me or talked to me about things. it's just that.. i've always been somewhat matured enough to make the right choices and decisions in which are suitable to their wants and requirements.
however, at this very moment. i have just kind of sat through a li'l talk through with my mum and sis. which wasn't really one.. cuz i sorta cut them short and told them that i couldn't stand those kinda sessions b'cuz i've never really had them in my life and i've just formed an opinion now that it just annoys me if i ever have to sit through any.
advice i can take. but lectures i don't really know. scrutinise my social life won't ya? for crying out loud. doesn't mean that just cuz i like going out with ONE group of friends mean that i DON'T have any other friends. my goodness.. i'm thinking of listing down all the friends that i've met throughout the whole year and all. geez.. it's only cuz i've managed to fit in nicely with this one group and i'm able to have fun hanging out with them cuz we click the most doesn't mean i am an introvert who doesn't have any other friends other than this group of friends.
they just don't understand that it's so hard to get together with other friends. we're just NOT on the same wavelength. i believe that NZ society is a li'l too clique-ish. well, there are the exceptions. but heck.. i have friends.. but there's always this core group of friends whom i will go out with always. this core group who are the best ppl to hang out with. cuz i know the group gossip and i won't be such a lost bimbo in conversation when i go out with other ppl! it absolutely doesn't help that MOST of my friends do not have their full license and can't drive around. taking the bus is so troublesome it just puts me off. and oh.. the heck.. what the hell do we do when we meet up? oh.. yeah.. sure.. mebe a movie? and.. coffee? oh yeah.. shopping.. shop what? shopping here so damn bloody expensive. shopping malls as boring ass. put me in a hole like nz and expect me to socialise? yeah.. SURE! honestly.. yes.. there ARE things for us to do in nz. but it mostly involves MONEY.. which A LOT of my friends do not have. well, not the extreme luxury in which they can just throw their money away spending $3.50 on a cup of coffee which not a lot of ppl enjoy anyway when in malaysia RM1.10 gets you a cup of drink that can last you for a couple of hours. and that also we can go out at night and not only restricted to the daytime cuz ppl have to take bus or can't drive after certain hours. or MAYBE not many coffee shops in nz just don't open at nite. so? what am i supposed to do?
DOES NOT help that i'm one of the few ones that have full license. not many ppl are that keen to drive me around cuz i live so out of the way. and yeah.. a lot of NIGHT activities which my dad ain't too keen on letting me out. oh yeah. why u ask? stupid question IDIOTS!!!arrrrghhhHHH!!! sorry.. i'm just really really frustrated now.
i just wanna go back to m'sia. ppl are actually excited about me having a b'day. well, there are ppl there. here? who's gonna plan me something? or help me anyway. what's there to do anywya? i do not have a venue to have a party without my family who by the way are probably the most nosy ppl on the face of this planet. and i wonder why i'm such a nosy person.
i don't mean to be soo.. sarcastic and bitchy and stupid. but the thing that really cheeses me off? is when someone has the impression of something that's SO NOT ME! i am NOT an introvert. they should worry more about my eldest sister. she has less friends than i do. i have MORE than she does! my dad is worried that i'm hanging out with too small a pool of friends. i think i need to just dunk my head in cold water now. ARRRRGHHHh!!!
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO MY B'DAY!!!well, every year i don't look forward to growing older.. but hell i've ALWAYS LOOKED FORWARD to CELEBRATING it. but not this year. i'm homesick. i want my friends who care for me. i have amy here. and basically.. that's all i have. okay.. wait.. mebe that's wrong. mebe i'm not thinking on a wider angle. out of the box. mebe i do have friends to celebrate with me. if i were slightly more positive and stuff.. i'm just a born pessimist. i miss my frens who'll help me plan stuff. gee.. i don't know la.
here's to a miserable 20th b'day. cheers...
it honestly doesn't help that all this while throughout my childhood and teenage years, my parents never really lectured me or talked to me about things. it's just that.. i've always been somewhat matured enough to make the right choices and decisions in which are suitable to their wants and requirements.
however, at this very moment. i have just kind of sat through a li'l talk through with my mum and sis. which wasn't really one.. cuz i sorta cut them short and told them that i couldn't stand those kinda sessions b'cuz i've never really had them in my life and i've just formed an opinion now that it just annoys me if i ever have to sit through any.
advice i can take. but lectures i don't really know. scrutinise my social life won't ya? for crying out loud. doesn't mean that just cuz i like going out with ONE group of friends mean that i DON'T have any other friends. my goodness.. i'm thinking of listing down all the friends that i've met throughout the whole year and all. geez.. it's only cuz i've managed to fit in nicely with this one group and i'm able to have fun hanging out with them cuz we click the most doesn't mean i am an introvert who doesn't have any other friends other than this group of friends.
they just don't understand that it's so hard to get together with other friends. we're just NOT on the same wavelength. i believe that NZ society is a li'l too clique-ish. well, there are the exceptions. but heck.. i have friends.. but there's always this core group of friends whom i will go out with always. this core group who are the best ppl to hang out with. cuz i know the group gossip and i won't be such a lost bimbo in conversation when i go out with other ppl! it absolutely doesn't help that MOST of my friends do not have their full license and can't drive around. taking the bus is so troublesome it just puts me off. and oh.. the heck.. what the hell do we do when we meet up? oh.. yeah.. sure.. mebe a movie? and.. coffee? oh yeah.. shopping.. shop what? shopping here so damn bloody expensive. shopping malls as boring ass. put me in a hole like nz and expect me to socialise? yeah.. SURE! honestly.. yes.. there ARE things for us to do in nz. but it mostly involves MONEY.. which A LOT of my friends do not have. well, not the extreme luxury in which they can just throw their money away spending $3.50 on a cup of coffee which not a lot of ppl enjoy anyway when in malaysia RM1.10 gets you a cup of drink that can last you for a couple of hours. and that also we can go out at night and not only restricted to the daytime cuz ppl have to take bus or can't drive after certain hours. or MAYBE not many coffee shops in nz just don't open at nite. so? what am i supposed to do?
DOES NOT help that i'm one of the few ones that have full license. not many ppl are that keen to drive me around cuz i live so out of the way. and yeah.. a lot of NIGHT activities which my dad ain't too keen on letting me out. oh yeah. why u ask? stupid question IDIOTS!!!arrrrghhhHHH!!! sorry.. i'm just really really frustrated now.
i just wanna go back to m'sia. ppl are actually excited about me having a b'day. well, there are ppl there. here? who's gonna plan me something? or help me anyway. what's there to do anywya? i do not have a venue to have a party without my family who by the way are probably the most nosy ppl on the face of this planet. and i wonder why i'm such a nosy person.
i don't mean to be soo.. sarcastic and bitchy and stupid. but the thing that really cheeses me off? is when someone has the impression of something that's SO NOT ME! i am NOT an introvert. they should worry more about my eldest sister. she has less friends than i do. i have MORE than she does! my dad is worried that i'm hanging out with too small a pool of friends. i think i need to just dunk my head in cold water now. ARRRRGHHHh!!!
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO MY B'DAY!!!well, every year i don't look forward to growing older.. but hell i've ALWAYS LOOKED FORWARD to CELEBRATING it. but not this year. i'm homesick. i want my friends who care for me. i have amy here. and basically.. that's all i have. okay.. wait.. mebe that's wrong. mebe i'm not thinking on a wider angle. out of the box. mebe i do have friends to celebrate with me. if i were slightly more positive and stuff.. i'm just a born pessimist. i miss my frens who'll help me plan stuff. gee.. i don't know la.
here's to a miserable 20th b'day. cheers...
Comments