life is difficult..

life is difficult.. you do something and it may have unseen consequences. even if you don't mean a thing. you do it in pure innocence. but the outcome is catastrophic.. i dunno.. it's horrible. things just don't go your way. bah.. i'm currently in one of my reflective moods.. er.. yeah.. ONE of them lar. not reflecting about myself though. just reflecting on how things are going to be in the future. just wondering about many things. i don't know.. being back here seems to have made me think more than usual. about things that i usually don't think about. maybe it's because i don't have anything to do. or maybe i'm experiencing stuff that i have not for the period of time that i was in nz.

walked past starbucks today.. hiring baristas.. oooo.. should i? get a job? well well.. christine.. working before she actually has to? amazing. half torn. way cool to actually earn money. but hello? do i actually wanna be tied down. and if i get rejected... can i take it? sigh.. confusion.. headache.. but don't worry.. i'd probably end up NOT working. hah.. yahler. the lazier side of me ALWAYS wins! haha.. well. at least i still can laugh..