MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new
Drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined
below when accessing their accounts."
"After months of careful research, MALE
& FEMALE Procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate
steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE :
Unfortunately, most of this part
is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required
amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents
on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will
call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access
to machine due to its excessive distance
from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary;
with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate
wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register
and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone .
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
I'd like to see the results of this 'tried and proven' test.
First off, I think females would CONTINUE talking on the phone, just cause we can multi-task.
As for the parking brake thing? I'm pretty sure men have done it before..
And the wallet thing? I already have my wallet out to take the card out.. why should I put it back into my handbag?
As for leaving the card in the machine, I think someone's done that before (male) and I don't remember ever doing that. It's cause the machines spit your card out, then your money then your statement. So, you take them in that order.
Then the whole backing back again and having to open the door. Meh, I don't think I've drive past it just cause when you approach a stationary object you tend to SLOW down? and you crawl up to the post. Then there's that whole opening the door. kekakkakaka.. I've seen men do that too!!!
As for checking for make-up? We probably do that in the 0.002 seconds that the machine takes to process the transaction.
The debit amount is not written into the chequebook. It's called an excel spreadsheet. What are we? In ancient Rome? Moreover, that's what your bank statement for. You keep it and go home and update it. Why would you be carrying your cheque book in this day and age anyway? I wouldn't.
Hahhaa.. if you wanna write a sexist joke. Make it fool proof, oh... and don't forget to add in a spice of 'humour'.
First off, I think females would CONTINUE talking on the phone, just cause we can multi-task.
As for the parking brake thing? I'm pretty sure men have done it before..
And the wallet thing? I already have my wallet out to take the card out.. why should I put it back into my handbag?
As for leaving the card in the machine, I think someone's done that before (male) and I don't remember ever doing that. It's cause the machines spit your card out, then your money then your statement. So, you take them in that order.
Then the whole backing back again and having to open the door. Meh, I don't think I've drive past it just cause when you approach a stationary object you tend to SLOW down? and you crawl up to the post. Then there's that whole opening the door. kekakkakaka.. I've seen men do that too!!!
As for checking for make-up? We probably do that in the 0.002 seconds that the machine takes to process the transaction.
The debit amount is not written into the chequebook. It's called an excel spreadsheet. What are we? In ancient Rome? Moreover, that's what your bank statement for. You keep it and go home and update it. Why would you be carrying your cheque book in this day and age anyway? I wouldn't.
Hahhaa.. if you wanna write a sexist joke. Make it fool proof, oh... and don't forget to add in a spice of 'humour'.
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