Good Morning.
the time.
The closest to me suffer the most yet I am reluctant to change. I take ppl for
granted and I just let them take the brunt of things and one of them is
obviously my bf.
So what does life do to you to make one so bitter about things? Maybe I'm just
tired of being happy and cheerful. I just want to be sullen and moody..
In a last ditch effort to improve my moods.. I have embarked on a journey to
be.. nicer. I will try not to snap or be sarcastic.
It is rather difficult though. It is as if a battle rages within me. Fighting
the feelings of moodiness.. because all I want to do is just be angry.
Little things get to me. When I'm annoyed, it annoys me further when someone
tells me to not let the little things get to me. My dears, I know that. It is
pointless to tell me something I already know. You see how it works? I'm
annoyed and my annoyance shortens my temper by.. a lot. So, therefore.. I just
end up snapping and being sarcastic to people. Take for example this morning, I
was early and all.. but then when I left the house 5 minutes later than I'd
expected to.. then the annoyance started building in me.
I guess what I really need is just time to cool and really learn to not be so
rigis with my life, I guess.. from now on. I will just keep calm and just
retreat into my own world until I am ready to face people again. Therefore, if
I keep silent.. don't take any offence because it's just how I'm going to be
now so that I don't snap at you.. okay? So, if I don't say hi in the morning.
It's probably cuz I'm just grumpy and not wanting to snap at you.
Humans are complicated and mysterious creatures, or maybe it's just me.
I just no longer feel happy or have the will to be happy. I just want to be
bitter and sullen all day long. I no longer see positivity. I see negativity. I
guess I'm slipping. ahhaha.. All the years of fighting pessimism has finally
gotten to me and won the battle. So, heck.. Hi pessimism.
i have to go. What I can say now, is that everything's a turmoil in me now..
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